In this world where everyone lives in layers, manages relationships and has versions of, i crave a space where i can be raw, honest, brutal, vulgar, vulnerable and myself without censorship.
So i guess that's my mission statement for this blog, really.
The two people who know who i am, and know i've started this, are iffy about it, saying that some things are better left personal, the world doesn't really need to know about the extremely intimate inner workings of my convoluted mind, and that this could backfire and blowup in my face, if traced back to me.
Honestly, though, i feel that, as a human race, too few people say anything close to what they really feel. Maybe i live in a space that so requires that i am not myself that i need an outlet, maybe i think that this is all i have, realness, and hopefully somewhere, someone'll relate, or maybe i'm just being an exhibitionist, flashing my naked thoughts to turn you on. Maybe all of the above, and then some.
Whatever. I'm writing this, and will continue to do so, in the hope that, here, the tongueclamp of race, gender, time, appropriacy (is that a word?), location, familial diplomacy, societal hypocracy and everything else inbetween, at least in my head, do not exist.
If you know who i am, it's (wink) our lil' secret.
Now let the pole dances begin!
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4 comments:
Right, so I'm winking right back at ya! For me, personally, it was all good till a lot of people I know started reading my blog and they automatically started connecting me with everything on my blog without realizing that the blog was only a very small part of me and there was much more to my life than sappy poems of longing, loss and heartbreak and it kinda got a bit irritating at times. And although this fact didn't stop me from blogging (my previous blog was taken offline by me for altogether entirely different reasons!), there were some parts of my life that I preferred to keep to myself because I was sick and tired of explaining stuff (read my life) to people and I figured I'm better off avoiding some topics/parts of my life/subjects because I don't need to explain shit to people. Yeah. But having said that, blogging is a super way to get 'out there' in ways that, for many reasons, are sometimes not possible in the big bad world in which we deal with the everyday inanities of life as it were. 'Tis indeed a wonderful journey to embark on and I wish you many happy travels. Gawd, I'm already getting tired of writing such a long comment! My apologies! And yeah, I loved that word 'tongueclamp'! :)
{And I deleted and re-posted my comment to correct some typos. Yes I'm anal like that.}
My backspace key got stuck with all the false starts I made trying to write this comment.
And I still don't know what is that made me wanna put my 2 bit worth here.
So if you do have a lot to say,rant,rave,gush,shout,scream and all that.... good for you... rock on....
like the man said if you can talk to a blank wall and make sense then you are probably crazy
I know exactly what you mean... There was a time that I unabashedly poured my heart out. Every thought, feeling, desire.. It backfired on me when a few people I know in the real world stumbled across it. (I call these people my stalkers) It took me almost a year to regain my composure and I'm back with a new blog, this one untraceable to the real me. (Like a dodo I had used my real name in my last blog- D'oh!)
Spew it out! There is immense liberation in sharing these intimate thoughts with the world.
WT: i hope i wont have to explain anything. love the long comment! i am anal like that too!( and in ways i havnt explored, but *ahem*, that aside... )apologies for responding so long later, was a little phsyched to figure out i'm winking at you too, name, place, real world and all that jazz.. but, in the spirit of the post, faakitt and it's all good an' i aint gonna holdback bcoz of it, say i.
Monk:I yelling at the wall...
Madame Sakura:gulp and here i go... muchas gracias for saying what you did...
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